Out of eden.

Bonjour, Bonjourno, Hola, Hello to all my amazingImageg fantastic readers out there. 

Happy 2013!

Sorry for the sporadic posts as of late, i’ve been trying to reinitiate some order into my life as it were, (it’s one of those pesky new years revolutions things- psssh, don’t tell anyone!) and it has been taking up every minute of spare time i have. Quite frankly, i’m not even sure how i managed to stay sane. Thats if i am even capable of being classed as ‘sane’. Now back to my very tangent like point, i’ve been trying to make effective and practical decisions into my life, to well, make it better than it currently is and to be honest it is so hard. I knew from the moment that i had made up my mind, that making drastic and subtle life choices was going to turn me upside down and inside out. Well here i am, turned inside out and upside bloody down.

Habits, ruts and routines are so much harder to break out of than i ever thought. It probably serves me right for scoffing at self help books, and those who cherished them and parade them everywhere, showing the world the success they have achieved and the great leaps and bounds which they have travelled to get there, all carefully documented and ready to be sent out there into the world, for all of us to gawk at, applaud at or like me (only the old me) be aggravated and resentful toward while trying erase it from my beautiful but incredibly annoying and high functioning mac. 

Oh dear, where was i? Oh yeah, habits are hard to break. Blah, blah, blah. I can’t even seem to get my mind to sep running off into tangents while i write this and then letting those tangents have a subset of tangents and so on, and so forth. See my problem, oh great readers?

How can i possibly make it out there in this cold and cruel world, when i can’t even break those cold and cruel habits that stop me from becoming the best me. Oh now, i’m even speaking the self-help jargon. 

what has become of me, o great one?

So here i am, a couple of hours later than when i started writing this post to all of you friends/followers/fun people out there, thinking here i am again, unable to break the habit of procrastination and my utter lack of focus. I could tell you, that i was using this ‘essential’ procrastination time and lack of focus to come up with a brilliant way to tie this entire post together and bring you the most brilliant and most freshly pressed worth post ever, but that would be a lie. I spent a little time, checking my emails for university replies, and replying back (oh the tediousness of it all), and then scanning through my mail box trying to figure out how the hell I’m going to be able to sort through almost 5000 emails, and then abandoning that.

Now, i sit here feeling a little more accomplished, as after years of trying and trying, i’ve finally narrowed my Facebook friends list down to less than one hundred, from 700 upwards. This was a huge thing for me, i didn’t want to cut ties with old school friends and life long friends, and then there were the countless people you meet long the way, add or they add you and it was a complete waste of time and digital space. So i feel relieved, as though at least some small burden has finally been lifted off my shoulders. I guess in a way it has. I’ve finally finished something i set out to do along time ago. I guess, that somehow reflects well on me, in the fact that i might just be ready to break some of these bad habits, and slowly but  surely be ready to make a change in my life.

Maybe, just maybe.

This is the first piece, of a two piece article, or blog post by me on change, emotion, habits and life affirmation. The second piece should be up by midday tomorrow. It will include for all my dear readers, an emotional story, at least for me it was and an exciting look into an amazing man doing the incredible and impossible, showing us that we all have it in us to be who we are, who we want to be, and can get to where we need to be going. 

I hope you will tune in tomorrow for what will be first ever series. I am excited and i hope you are too.

Adios!

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